30 things I realized when I turned 40.

When I turn 40, I realize time a finite resource, so let’t not waste any more time and jump right into it.

Number 1: When I turn 40, I realize it all starts and ends with health. A co-worker from my previous company EA has passed away from a few years ago from sudden heart attack. He was only 37 years old. If you are reading thie and you’re healthy, you’re already living the dream. Everything else, money, status and things all just icing on the cake. So take care of your health, we only have on body to live in, and if we lost it, that’s it - Game Over. The greatest wealth is health. Number 2: I realize good sleep is the best medicine. Most of life’s problem can be mitigated when we get a good night’s sleep. Without good sleep, I’m really bad at my job, I’m a horrible husband and a hot tempered father who doesn’t know how to control my emotions. But after a good night’s sleep, the world looks different. Without enough sleep we all become tall two-years-olds. Number 3: I realize that the water H2O is the greatest drink in the world. Forget RedBull, forget Monsters or other prime drink, H20 it never changes. It’s good for our body and best of all is free. I belive that water is the only drink for a wise man. Number 4: I realize I should say “NO” more often. Life is about curation, curation the right people, curation the right experiences, the right events. All so that we can live our most optimal life which means we have to say “NO” more often than we say “YES”. Be highly selective just because someone asks me something doesn’t mean I have to comply. The only way to get more done is have less to do, so value our time and carefully choose how and with whom to spend with. But saying “NO” doesn’t mean I have to be mean about it, which leads to the next thing I realize after I turn 40. Number 5: I realize I can and should always be polite, “NO” doesn’t have to come off curt or rude, it can be said politely. I believe in stucture but I don’t believe hierarchy, there is no such thing as “I’m better than someone, or someone is better than me.” Everyone has equal human beings and requires respect as such. So slways be polite even when saying “NO”. Number 6: I realize where is no such a thing as being too late. When I started to learn digital painting eight year ago I was 32 years old, I had completely different industries. When I started to learn Spanish last year I was 39 years old, I had no skills and equipments. I saw other artists and language learners are younger than me and cooler than me. They had learned serval languages when they at school, they had drawed lots of oil painting when they was a toddler, what did I have? I have a family with two little kids? money problems or 996 jobs? But after having been on these journey for serval years now I realized it is never too late. It’s never to late to start something that terrifies us, it’s never to late to try something different. Life always offers us a second chance, it’s called tomorrow. Number 7: I realize that discomfort is great. It is autually a sign that I’m growing. When I was young, I thought discomfort means that was a wrong path, but now I realize when I feel discomfort, I’m exactly where I need to be, and the more I embrace discomfort I grow. Everything worth pursuing comes with a little pain, likes work out. What else on top of discomfort can supercharge our progress? Number 8: I realize staying power is super power. Long-term is harder than most people imagine, which is why it’s more lucrative than many people assume. I don’t have any special skills or talent, I can’t dance or sing well, I don’t have a good looking and even when it comes to my job, I don’t learn that fast. However my superpower has always been this: STAYING power. I’m confident in my ability to stick with something longer than some other people. Many smart and talented individuals get distracted by the new shiny objects, but I don’t. I know many telented individuals who haven’t gotten far ahead because they didn’t give things the time and the investment they deserve. So stay and stay for the long term. I always told myself:“You are a slow learner, but you should learn.” Number 9: I realize I should never underestimate myself. Commiting for the long run is hard, because we all want results right away. But we should understand that all good things take time, and if we stick with it long enough, good things will happen. So, never give up, never underestimate myself. Have big audacious goals and strive for the stars, just know that it will take time. Most people overestimate what they can do in one year, and underestimate what they can do in ten years. Number 10: I am stupid, and that is Okay. This probably the wisest lesson I learned after I turned 40. The honest truth is that I’m not the sum of all my successses, rather I am the sum of all my stupidity. The dumb mistakes I made throughout my teens, 20s and 30s, those have taught me more than my successes. And I’ll continue to make more dumb mistakes throughout my 40s and you know what, that is totally okay. Because that will make me a wiser 50-year-old myself. Number 11: I realized I care less what other people think. I can learn spanish in a lively park like a school kid everyday. 10 years ago I was self-conscious, today I could care less. I can sit under a tree and mindlessly stare at the sky and could care less what people walking by are thinking of me, because honest truth is that they really don’t care. Like this english diary, it takes me 2-3 hours to write it, I am almost sure there is nobody will read it, but it’s fine, I am growing by myself, not with others. Number 12: I realized I shouldn’t tru to impress people, rather I should focus on adding value. When I was younger I was self-conscious, because I was constantly trying to impress people, I should tell them what I do for living, how much money I make. Today, I realize how stupid what was of me. Instead of trying to impress I should to focus on adding value, saying and sharing thing that elevates person’s life, not only about me. And people only care about you when you’re mature enough to care about them. Number 13: I realize no one is coming to save me. I can’t rely on other people to solve my problems. My problems are mine, I have a hard time to finding a remote job, it isn’t the company’s responsiblity to hire me. I am tired of kid’s interruption, it isn’t only because my wife’s bad home education. It’s all on me. I am responsible and the buck stops with me. Number 14: I realize I need to focus on what I can control, not spend all my energy on things that out of my control. I can read lots of break news and blame why politics around all the world is still so dirty, I can look at my investmebt protfolio and agonize over why portfolis isn’t growing, but they are a waste of time. I need to focus on what I can control. Get more immigration informations and choose a better country to live, investing as much money as possible into the market and letting time do its magic. Number 15: I realize memories trump things. Things always come and go, and most often I forget the things what I owned. What phone I use 5 years ago, it takes me a while to remember. The watch that I obsessed over in my 20s, who even knew what that was about. But that overseas trip we took as a family, that will remain in our memories forever. And at the end of day I realize that is what matters. If I’m ever at a crossroad of deciding between a cool experience versus a cool thing, I will always choose a cool experience. Number 16: I realize marriage life is not 50⁄50. We won’t meet in the middle ground, there is no I give you 50, you give me 50, and we’re all happy. No, we give 100% to each other while expecting nothing in return. Number 17: I realize soulmates are made, not found. In my 20s I watched movies that talked about finding your soulmate and once you find that person, it’s all roses and petals. Not at all, completelty false. Soulmates are made over time through commitment, and we have to work for it, build it and earn it. Don’t believe a fairy tale. Number 18: I realize that I need to spend less time looking at the rearview mirror. Not spend so much of my time on what could have been but rather what is and what could be. Yes, could I have done a better job in this project? Could I have been studied harder in school? Cound I have been nicer to my kids? But what done is done. I have to learn to bookend the past chapters in my life, so I can move on. But does that mean we should only look to the future? Not at all. Number 19: I realize I need to spend more time savoring the moment. My best moment is now, I can’t change what happened in the past, I don’t know what the future holds, but I am in the now. Let me focus on the person that is in front of me, the job that I have right now, the moment I’m experiencing right now. “If you are depressed, you are living in the past; if you are anxious, you are living in the future; if you are at peace, you are living in the present.” Number 20: I realize childhood is very short. Just other day, I remember telling my friends that my kids were 1 and 4, now they’re 4 and 7 years old. Where did the time go? In the line of saving the moment, I realize that the time with my children was , is and will be very short. So I have to recognize that they running around my desk and asking questions when I’m working aren’t interruptions but rather a time to embrace. Adults are fools, children are wise. For children, everything is new, the adult hasn’t seen a new thing in years. Number 21: I realize curiosity is a sign of maturity. When I was younger, I thought wise people knew everything and mature individuals were the one that talk the most. However, I realize now that the wise and the mature individuals aren’t the ones that talk the most but the ones that ask most questions and listen curiousity. Thus I realized I want to cultivate the mindset of curiosity. There’s so much that we don’t know and the only way we can continue growing is by being curious. Number 22: I realize happiness is really based on my expectations. Why am I unhappy that my English didn’t reach C2 level, because I had an expectation that I could easily get there in 2 or 3 years. This doesn’t mean I should’t have any expectations, because goals are important. However, I have to be careful, if I want to manage my emotions, I have to manage my expectations. There is no such a thing as objective wealth - everything is relative, and mostly relative to those around you. Number 23: I realize success is very personal. When I was younger, I believe there was a uniform definiton of success, such as money, fame, power or status, but this is not true. We’re a;sp different individuals, so the definition of successs should be different as well. Number 24: I realize I should never let someone else tell me what I should or should not do. I you give people permission, most people would gladly tell you what you should be doing with your life, what you shouldn’t be doing and why you need to listen to them? You own your life, no one else, you are the main character, you make the decisions. Understand that and internalize it, don’t let anyone else tell you what you can or cannot do with your life. Number 25: I realize money is not wealth. There are tons of people around me who make a lot of money, but they are not wealthy. Don’t confuse the two. Someone who is content with their state is wealthy, someone who has healthy relationships is wealthy, someone who knows what they want is wealthy. Money is just a tool, nothing more. Number 26: I realize learning to be alone is important. All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone. Being alone is scary, it can be lonely. There is no one also blame for my problems, but that is the beginning of change, embrace the solitude. Number 27：I realized taking breaks is important. To be on all times is not only tiring but ineffective. Ianu Mirande came up with Hamilton, not while he was toing sway in his office but rather while he was at vacation, Daydreaming by the pool, so always take breaks. Number 28: I realized some people don’t like me, and I’m okay with that. Some or many people may not like me, because our values and personalities are fundamentally different, and nothing I say or do would ever change that. That is actually a good thing, it makes things very clear because we don’t have to waste my time trying. I’m on the mindset that I should always be learning, however that doesn’t mean we have to be on the same page with someone 100% of the time. Number 29: I realize I only want to spend time with people that makes me a better person. Life is precious, time is precious, so I only want to spend time with people that add value to my life. Number 30: I realize reading trult changes lives. Nothing has changed my mind more than books. No movies, no shorts come close. Books have opened my eyes and mind more than anything, I have always loved books and I’ll continue to read and learn until I can no longer. The more you read, the more things you know. The more your learn, the more places you go. At the end, I would to notice myself, “Stay hungry, stay young, stay foolish, stay curious, and above all, stay humble.”